


His Sakura

by Yourgayfriendgeorge



Category: Naruto
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Kakashi, Asexual Neji, Chakra sensor Naruto, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gay Character, Hinata is Ino's best friend instead of Sakura, Ino is very possesive of Hinata, M/M, May branch this into a multi-chapter book one day, Mother hen Kabuto, Mother hen Mikoto, Naruto isn't an idiot, Other, Sakura and Shikamaru are relationship goals, Sorry Not Sorry, The redemption arc we didn't ask for, This is an AU, This world goes way better then cannon, Trans Jiraiya, Trans Orochimaru, Transphobic Hiruzen and Danzou, almost everyone is gay, very little action sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 12:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18388304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourgayfriendgeorge/pseuds/Yourgayfriendgeorge
Summary: When he first laid eyes on her, he saw a future filled with Sakura petals and sharp and witty green eyes, he  immediately knew that she was going to be his wife. Shikamaru didn’t usually want anything as strongly as he did her, In a completely non-sexual way, he was only five for god sake (Though he felt far older than that).When she first laid eyes on him she saw a future filled with Shogi and smiles that would make her heart stutter. After their first meeting she gained a shadow, not that she minded though, she knew that she was going to marry him someday, there was no logical reasoning behind it she just knew. Nara Shikamaru was wrapped hopelessly around Haruno Sakura’s finger and he was totally okay with that (Sakura was wrapper around Shikamaru’s finger with utter devotion, willing to die for this boy).





	1. Chapter 1

When he first laid eyes on her, he saw a future filled with Sakura petals and sharp and witty green eyes, he  immediately knew that she was going to be his wife. Shikamaru didn’t usually want anything as strongly as he did her, In a completely non-sexual way, he was only five for god sake (Though he felt far older than that). 

When she first laid eyes on him she saw a future filled with Shogi and smiles that would make her heart stutter. After their first meeting she gained a shadow, not that she minded though, she knew that she was going to marry him someday, there was no logical reasoning behind it she just knew. Nara Shikamaru was wrapped hopelessly around Haruno Sakura’s finger and he was totally okay with that (Sakura was wrapper around Shikamaru’s finger with utter devotion, willing to die for this boy).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Haruno Sakura first met her best friend Uzumaki Naruto she was being chased by a group of bullies (being led by her ever common torture, Ami), Shikamaru was nowhere to be seen as he was busy with clan duties (His words not hers, he’d be angry later on when he hears how she and Naruto met, but a smile sent by the pinkette would soon placate his cold anger). 

 

“Come back here crybaby!, We just want to play!!” Ami calls out cheerfully, scowling as she notices Sakura disappear into a really scary alley. After a couple of minutes filled with childish bickering, the bullies entered the alley only to see that the shy pinkette had disappeared.

Sakura was busying capturing her breath when she noticed a pair of sunny blue eyes staring at her with suspicion, her own green eyes widening with fear. The blond in front of her scoffs loudly, glaring Sakura into submission before going back to rummaging in the trash. Feeling dejected, Sakura looks at the ground with tears pooling out of her large eyes.

 

“Why are you crying? Are you really that afraid of me?” The blond angrily questions, stepping towards her with hostility. Filled with fear Sakura scrambles back raising her arms in a defensive way, hoping the beating she got wouldn’t be to harsh like last time Shika wasn’t with her, Shika was with his clan a lot these days, something bout his dad stepping up his training to help him protect her better (A lot of help that does her). The blond looks at her with immediate understanding filling his blue hues.

 

“Your like me.” Naruto states, a kinship forming as he sends out his heart to her, Sakura looks up slowly, instantly noticing the same sadness and loneliness floating through his eyes. With a shaky smile, Sakura nods her petal pink head.

 

“They beat me up whenever Shika isn’t around.” She tells Naruto quietly, her green orbs drooping at the thought of her Shika not being with her. The blond looks confused at her statement but instantly smiles brightly at her.

 

“I’m Uzumaki Naruto, Dattebayo!” He tells her cheerfully, holding out his grimy hands.

 

“Haruno Sakura.” She replies, taking his hand carefully into her own and shaking it hesitantly, knowing this was the start of a beautiful friendship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Shikamaru met Naruto he wasn’t impressed, especially when he learned about the circumstances of how they met.

 

“Sakura!” Shikamaru calls out frantically, his panicked voice echoing into an opening of an alley. He was downright terrified about what could’ve happened to her while he was gone.

 

“Shika!” He hears her soft, high pitched voice call back from within the alley, her excitement warming him to the core and easing the anxiety that filled him. He feels himself ease up as he watches his pink haired spitfire (He was the only one who’s seen that side of her) rush towards him with sparkling green eyes, a blond haired, blue eyed boy running behind her with his grimy hands clasped within her own soft ones.

 

“Who’s that Sakura?” Shikamaru questions, his bark hues narrowing in suspicion at the boy beside her. Said boy glares back at him, trying in vain to get out of her grip. Shikamaru feels irritation enter his form. He walks towards Sakura, dragging his feet behind him as he practically falls onto her. He wraps his arms around her small frame tightly, glaring at the Blond Jinchuuriki with warning in his eyes, relaxing as he sees agreement fill the Blond’s blue hues.

 

“This is Naruto, my new friend...hopefully?” Sakura tells him excitedly, turning to Naruto and with hopeful intentions. The Nara heir tenses, ready to comfort her just in case the blond boy rejects her. The outcast of Konoha smiles brightly at the small girl in front of him.

 

“Of course, Dattebayo!” Naruto responds cheerfully. Shikamaru lets himself feel resigned as he watches the interaction take place.

 

‘Troublesome...but worth it.’ He thinks reluctantly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shikamaru stared down at the sleeping figure in his lap with deep fondness, his brown hues recording this seen to memory. Naruto, who sat beside him, reading a light chapter book in hopes of getting his reading up to par with Sakura’s and Shikamaru’s, looked towards the young couple and scrunches his nose up in disgust. He hoped he’d never be like that, it’s pretty annoying to watch.

 

“Any luck with Hinata yet?” Shikamaru questions nonchalantly, his sharp gaze focusing on the young seven year old boy. Naruto huffs in annoyance, his blue hues turning a shade darker at the mention of the elusive Hyuuga heir.

 

“She passes out whenever I try talking to her, are you sure she has a crush on me, it seems more like she fears me.” Naruto tells Shikamaru bluntly, stealing a chip from Choji who was sitting next to Naruto in a resigned way. Sakura snorts at Naruto’s obliviousness, opening her green hues to gaze into the Nara heirs bark hues. They stare into each other’s eyes for what seems like hours before Naruto shoves Sakura playfully.

 

“You guys are gross you know that, Dattebayo?” Naruto questions, grinning as he notices Shikamaru glaring his way for breaking his moment with Sakura. Choji snorts at Naruto’s comment, his gaze focused solely on the butterfly that was flying in loops and sporadic waves as it followed a certain Aburame’s orders and yes Shino does have a slight crush on Choji and no, he wasn’t going to confess to him anytime soon. 

The trio look over as they notice Sasuke walk over to them with a blush covering his cheeks. The only Uzumaki in Konoha feels a grin form on his face as he notices a certain Inuzuka look towards the Uchiha with confusion.

 

“What’d he do this time Sasu-gay?” Naruto questions innocently, yelping when Sasuke whacks him over the head. Sakura giggles at the two rival’s antics, leaning into Shikamaru when he starts running his hand through her hair. Green eyes light up with remembrance as she turns to her Uzumaki friend.

 

“Hey Naruto how’s operation: unmask Inu going?” She questions, amusement flickering on her face as well as the rest of the groups face when they watch Naruto glare at a tree off in the distance.

 

“A few complications came up, Dattebayo.” He grumbles out, glaring even harder as he feels Inu’s chakra flicker with amusement. Sasuke chuckles at Naruto’s plight as he glances back to watch Kiba fall into the mud face first. Sasuke winces and wonders why the hell he has a crush on that dobe.

 

“Time to go in.” Shikamaru states, waiting till Sakura gets off him before standing on his own and walking with her back to the classroom, smirking when the others complain about being left behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and….. Uchiha Sasuke.” Iruka calls out, wincing as he feels Shikamaru’s cold gaze burn holes into his flak Jacket. Flinching even harder when he notices Sakura’s sad gaze.

 

‘The Hokage’s an idiot.’ Iruka think traitorously as he watches Shikamaru plan his demise. Clearing his throat he continues naming off the teams, smiling softly when he notices Ino getting sad over the fact of not being on a certain Hyuuga’s team.

His student were adorable. He then looks towards where team ten was sitting and winces.

 

‘And terrifying.’ He thinks fearfully, grabbing his papers and tapping them lightly on the desk to straighten them out.

 

“After lunch your Jounin Sensei will come and collect you. Dismissed.” He calls out, practically rushing out the door to avoid the Nara’s wrath.

Shikamaru sighs in annoyance before he makes his way towards his pink haired girlfriend (They just established the girlfriend-boyfriend thing last week), smiling softly when she brightens up. He stands in front of the desk and pointedly ignores Naruto’s mocking words.

 

“Ready to go and eat lunch? Kaa-chan put some extra Umeboshi in my bento just for you.” Shikamaru tells her, rolling his eyes as his excitable girlfriend (He’ll never get tired of thinking that) practically leaps over the desk and next to him, her green orbs brimming with happiness.

 

“Tell your Kaa-chan that she’s the best.” She tells him happily, grabbing his hand into her own and swinging it softly as they make their way out of the classroom.

 

“Wait for me, Dattebayo!” Naruto calls after them annoyed, glaring as Shikamaru quickened his pace just to piss Naruto off. Naruto huffs and gets up, picking up the bento Sakura made for him (She started making him bentos when she found out that he literally only has cup ramen) and rushing out to join them. Kiba walks over to Sasuke and sits next to him with a plop.

 

“Wow, Naruto is such a third wheel.” Kiba remarks, Akamaru yapping in agreement. Sasuke grunts in agreement, his cheeks flushing a light pink as he tries his best to hide it from the Inuzuka beside him. Ino watches Hinata jealousy as Hinata watches Naruto from the window, thinking of how much cooler she was to Naruto.

 

‘I could totally be Hinata’s knight in shining armor and look hot while doing it!’ Ino thinks viciously, getting up with a flamboyant smile. She rushes over to Hinata, making sure he hips were swaying side to side. Ino stops in front of Hinata’s desk and smiles at her charmingly.

 

“Hey Hinata-chan, want to have lunch with me?” Ino questions confidently, blushing internally as Hinata looks at her with warmth in her lavender hues. Hinata smiles shyly up at her best friend of four years and nods her head meekly.  Ino smiles in success before she grabs Hinata’s hand and drags her out the door.

 

“Good because Kaa-chan put cinnamon rolls in my bento again and I can’t eat them alone.” Ino lies, as she was the one who crammed four of those cinnamon rolls into her bente box. It was worth lying to the shy Hyuuga if only to see her excited grin.

‘I’m so gay for her.’ Ino thinks, tightening her grip on Hinata’s hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

 

When Sakura met Kakashi, it was in a comical display set by her best friend Naruto.

 

“YOU.” Naruto shouts viciously, his blue hues glaring into an obsidian one as he jumps over the table to be face to face with their new sensei. Kakashi tilts his head in confusion, amusement flickering through his chakra. 

 

“Me?” Kakashi replies cooly, watching as his sensei’s son tries to glare him into submission. Sakura watches the two with a tilted head before realization grows in her leafy hues.

 

“Is he Inu?” She questions curiously, smiling as her blond best friend nods his head in vindication. Naruto grows happier as he notices Kakashi’s chakra spike in shock. It serves him right.

 

“Meet me on the roof.” Kakashi commands, shunshing out of that situation real quickly.

Team seven meets him on the roof ten minutes later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto felt bad for the bastard who decided it was cool to injure Sakura. If he survived Naruto’s and Sasuke’s beating he sure as hell won’t survive Shikamaru’s, especially if Shika sees the state she’s in. He understands the guy though, he would’ve been exactly like him if it wasn’t for Sakura, the lazy bastard, and Sasugay (Choji’s pretty cool too), and Kakashi was now on his list of people he likes. The guy in front of him though (Gaara, if he remembers it correctly) had no one, his own siblings were terrified of him.

 

“Your brother’s going to kick this panda bastards ass.” Naruto tells Sasuke, wincing at the thought of Itachi’s enraged face. Sasuke winces too, remember when his brother found out that his poor innocent otouto had a crush (Itachi cried that day) and the hell the Inuzuka clan went through for weeks after that.

 

“Not if Shikamaru beats him to it.” Sasuke replies, shivering at the thought of the overprotective Nara. Naruto shivers at a sudden thought.

 

“They’d probably team up.” Naruto whispers in horror, dodging the barrage of sand shurikens heading his way as he thinks of the two most overprotective prodigies (Shikamaru would deny this till the day Sakura told him to just take the compliment) banning together in order to cause this poor bastard a living hell.

 

“We should probably save Sakura before it’s too late.” Naruto tells Sasuke, allowing his eyes to tint red as the kyuubi’s chakra fills his veins. Sasuke grunts in agreement as his obsidian eyes change into a crimson red. Sakura in all of this was trying to strike up a conversation with the obviously insane Jinchuriki. Gaara for all intensive purposes was so confused at what the fuck was going on. Konoha was way more crazy then he was.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

After an intensive battle, Gaara laid strewn on the grass as both Sasuke and Naruto stand above him, Naruto looked at Gaara with the same look he always sees in the mirror.

 

“Your like me?” Gaara questions, not realizing how fucking adorable he looked to Naruto right now (Naruto would later claim that was when he realized he had a crush on the Kazekage and kiss Gaara bodly on the lips, Gaara would stay in his room for a week out of pure embarrassment) Naruto smiles brightly at Gaara, offering him a hand to get up, instantly letting it fall back to his side when he realizes Gaara couldn’t get up. Seafoam eyes look into sunny blue ones with one question.

 

“How are you so happy?” He questions, tears filling his black rimmed eyes. Both boys in front of Gaara look towards their battered pink haired teammate. Gaara looks at her like she somehow had the answers to the secret of life.

 

“I found my precious people,” Naruto answers honestly looking back towards Gaara with understanding and warmth, “If you want, we can be your precious people too.” Naruto finishes, his cheerful voice bringing a new feeling into Gaara’s frame. Kankuro and Temari land in front of Gaara like a protective barrier, both watching the two members of team seven with narrowing suspicion as they warp Gaara’s arm around their neck (Kankuro on the right Temari on the left) and jump away, leaving Naruto’s offer unanswered in textbook (Everyone their knew he would’ve said yes.

 

“What.Happened.” Were the finally words the three sand siblings heard as well as two girly screams before they were out of earshot of the konoha shinobi.

(Naruto and Sasuke were afraid of their own shadows for a month after that).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sasuke stands infront of his house with nervousness as he gives anyone in the vicinity of his house a few more minutes of peace.

 

“Sasuke, what are you doing, your going to catch a cold if you stand out there in the rain any longer.” He hears his mother scold from inside the house. Sasuke winces in sympathy for his neighbors before walking into his house towards the three way to protective figures in his life (Sakura was lucky that only Shikamaru was that overprotective of her, Him and Naruto were only a mild bit of protective and Kakashi only murders people with his glare for them ninety-six percent of the time). Mikoto smiles pleasantly as she watches her youngest son walk into the living room, scrunching her thin eyebrows as she notices him shift side to side in anxiousness.

 

“What’s wrong dear?” Mikoto questions worriedly, not at all unfazed when Itachi practically teleports into the room (Fugaku was listening from behind the Shoji door). Itachi grabs his brothers face and squishes it together as he looks for any sign of injury that laid on his otouto. Sasuke laughs nervously, glad that he wore his weird turtle neck abomination of a shirt.

 

“I may have….gotten an evil hickey from Orochimaru of the Sannin.” Sasuke tells his family nervously, wincing as he notices all of them looking at him with crimson red eyes (He only saw his father's eyes because of how paper thin the Shoji door was). Itachi lets go of Sasuke’s face calmly before walking over to the shoji door and opening it. Fugaku stares back at Itachi with a carefully blank face before handing Itachi a very sharp tanto, Fugaku himself was holding an odachi while holding out a wakizashi for his mother. All three of them walk calmly towards the front door stopping only for Itachi and his mother to call out an I love you to Sasuke.

 

“Where are you going?’ Sasuke questions, already knowing the answer but needing to confirm it for the watching anbu.

 

“Snake hunting.” Was Itachi’s reply before all three of his family members walk out the door. Sasuke was honestly worried about how they will react when they hear that he accidently kissed Kiba after the whole Snake incident (They reacted terribly by the way, They are way to over protective.) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Team seven watches with morbid fascination as Kabuto laid beaten and bruised in front of them. Shikamaru and Itachi were behind him, both of them looking equally scary as they did friendly.

 

“Shika, are you okay?” Sakura question tentatively, stepping over Kabuto (Kicking him in the balls in the process) and hugging him tightly in hope of calming him down. It works like magic, Shika became instant putty in the pinkette’s arms. Sasuke walked over to his brother and hugged him quietly, not reacting when Itachi brought him into a soul crushing hug.

Naruto watches in jealousy, wishing he had someone who was like that for him (He would later take that back as he watches Gaara bring one of his own shinobi’s to the brink of death with a glare, just for staring at Naruto for too long). Jiraiya watches the scene with a nostalgic and guilty smile before turning to Tsunade with a serious expression on his face. Tsunade nods grimly in response, already allowing her fate to be set in stone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

 

Sakura watches with tears in her leaf green eyes as Naruto hugs her goodbye to ensue on his three year trip. Shikamaru stands firmly at her side with his hand clutched tightly in her own. Once Naruto was out of site, Shika drags her to their secret spot, both spending the rest of the day cloud watching with what seemed like no care in the world.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sakura jumps up and down in excitement as she excitedly tells Tsunade that yes she will be honored to be her apprentice. Later that day tears filled Sakura’s eyes as she happily watches Sasuke ask fifteen-year-old Kiba Inuzuka if he would go on a date with him.

Sasuke goes home with a satisfied smile on his face as he tells his family that he’s got a date tonight. Itachi cries later that night into his best friend’s (Shisui, who totally didn’t sign up for this) shoulder as he complains about how much Sasuke was growing up. Naruto smiled cheerfully as he and Gaara talk about everything and nothing under Suna’s starry tapestry (He and Jiraiya stopped their for a month). A new feeling filling both the Jinchuuriki with an unusual warmth. 

 

Obito looks into the sky as he questions his sexuality.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ino runs up to Sakura excitedly, her long blond hair swishing back and forth wildly as she dragged a burning red faced Hyuuga behind her. Sakura smiles knowingly at the two, giggling when Shikamaru groans into her hair, his tall stature practically engulfing Sakura’s own meager five feet two inches.

 

“We’re dating now, she’s mine now!” Ino tells the two excitedly, creeping her arm around the Hyuuga heiresses waist with a possessiveness only befitting of Ino, Neji watches the scene with despair as he realizes he forgot to defend Hinata from women in his rush to make sure no man ever dated her.

 

Shikamaru later brings Sakura to their secret hiding place and hands her a promise ring, grunting when the pinkette tackles him into a hug.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Naruto is tackled into a hug by a pink blur as soon as he steps foot into Konoha. The blond laughs cheerfully as he hugs Sakura back with just as much enthusiasm, sticking his tongue out when a certain Nara glares at him. Sasuke joins the hug a few minutes later, dragging a reluctant Brokashi (Kakashi) into the hug. Shikamaru allows it for a few more minutes before forcing all the men on Sakura away with a quick shadow possession (He was a little possessive after he hadn’t been able to see her for a week and a half). Team seven has a good laugh about it before Naruto tells them that he may or may not be dating the new kazekage. Kakashi sighs at this, before patting Naruto on the head in a brotherly way. Sakura congratulates him while Sasuke tells him he honestly thought Naruto was asexual. Needless to say Naruto was pissed when he heard that his boyfriend was kidnapped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After getting Gaara back (Thankfully before the Akatsuki were able to fully extract Shukaku from him) there was a warning put out for all the villages to protect their Jinchuuriki cause there be bitches out there ready to steal em.

Naruto was given Anbu again making it harder for him to sneak to Suna to see his boyfriend (Yes he has done this before and no, you may not ask how this is physically possible). Naruto was pissed for months cause of this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shikamaru and Sakura lay in the field in a rare state of peace. The war was raging hard and many good comrades have fallen. Thankfully none of their friends have fallen and Asuma quickly stepped up his game after his near death experience with Hidan. The tension was still at an all time high however and Sakura and Shikamaru rarely got these moment anymore.

 

“Mary me after the war is over?” Shikamaru question in a more of a statement way. Sakura shrugs her shoulders, her small hands playing with Shikamaru’s soft brown locks that were for once out of his hair tie.

 

“That’s not an answer Sakura.” Shikamaru groans out, mumbling a quiet troublesome when he hears her giggle at his annoyance. Sakura smiles brightly down at him before leaning down and kissing his forehead (He was laying on her lap sue him).

 

“I would love to Shika.” Sakura replies, dodging the weak attempt of a smack to her arm.

 

“I told you not to call me that troublesome woman.” 

 

“You know you love me.”

 

“That’s a given.” He responds quietly, allowing the peaceful silence that followed after to lull him to sleep, god knows he needs it after the amount of battles he fought this week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tears of relief roll down team seven’s face as they watch the gedo mazou being sealed for all of eternity into the pocket dimension known as Kamui. The war was over and everyone raced to find if their loved one was alive.

Naruto practically tackles Gaara to the ground, kissing him with all the emotions he wished he could of expressed throughout the tiring few years of war. Chioji and Shino sit next to each other in silence, their hand intertwined tightly. Sasuke and Kiba were having a very heated make-out session and Itachi was few miles away crying into Shisui’s shoulder as he feels the last of his brother’s innocence go down the drain. Neji and Kakashi both to asexual to get into the whole after war sex thing, sit in companionable silence reading, Kakashi his porn (Which he finds hilarious) and Neji with his corny rom-com. Ino and Hinata were probably having sex somewhere, and Shikamaru and Sakura were miles away in a grassy field enjoying the end of the fourth shinobi war. Oh and Tenten and Fu found romantic partners out of each other.

“It’s over.” Sakura finally says, breaking the calm silence that had enveloped them. Shikamaru nods his head in agreement with her statement, his tall, lean form staying absolutely still in Sakura’s lap.

 

“When do you want to start planning the wedding?” Sakura questions, giggling when Shikamaru scrunches his nose up at the prospect of work.

 

“Whenever Konoha finishes it’s repairs and gets out of its war time economy.” Shikamaru responds to his now fiance. Sakura smiles as she watches the sun start to rise.

 

“I can’t wait.” She responds softly, feeling satisfied, She felt like this war ended way better then it could’ve, no Jinchuriki died, death casualties weren’t as high as they could be and she was going to marry Shikamaru (She was terrified when she had dreams of Shika dying way before they could ever get to the altar during the war).  Nothing could ruin this moment.

“Ugh, you two are gross.” Naruto’s kage bunshin states, popping when a shadowy spike ends it’s short existence.

Nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Kaa-chan!” A child of five screams out from their spot on a hill, an expression of pure boredom on their face. Sakura feels herself let out an endearing sigh as she and her husband share a look.

 

“What is it Kiyomi?” Sakura calls back, giggling softly when she feels her husband’s scratchy chin snuggle into her neck. 

 

“When is Minato getting here? He promised to be here at six!” Kiyomi whines out, pouting as her best bro friend wasn’t there to make fun of her lovey dovey parents with. Minato was Gaara and Naruto’s adopted son. Sakura rolls her eyes at her daughters whining before looking at the clock.

 

“It’s only five thirty dear.” Sakura responds, Kiyomi groans in annoyance, turning over so that her face (Which looked exactly like Shikamaru’s) laid in the grass, her hot pink hair splayed everywhere in a uncaring way. Shikamaru snorts at his daughter’s actions and feels a soft smile spread onto his face when he hears his wife’s amused chuckling. 

 

Times were good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The end~~~~

 

Or is it?

 


	2. The great snake hunt that somehow went wrong (Or did it go right?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A.K.A Family bonding.
> 
> Warning: There is mild Homophobia and Transphobia.
> 
> The Orochimaru plot twists we didn't need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the greatest idea and this is the result. I just really love this Au.  
> Also this is the Orochimaru redemption arc no one asked for but I accidently delivered.  
> Sorry for Hiruzen he knows not what he says.  
> I hate Danzou so uh. He's a Transphobic, Homophobic, all the phobics, asshole who I have not deemed worthy of a redemption yet.

Orochimaru was not having a great day. His binder broke, so now the flabs of fat on his chest were just...hanging there! He got mistaken for a girl five times today three of those times were by Kabuto! The worst part about his day was that his precious sound four (All of whom he loved dearly, in a deranged sort of way) were found dead by his snakes Kaito and Ren. Why couldn't he just be a successful villain? The only reason he's doing this is because he wanted Sarutobi and the damn man Danzou to notice and accept the fact that he was a man, not girl!

 

"Intruuudderss." Kaito hisses out, his hazy blue eyes staring unseeingly towards the entrance of his lair.

 

"Peachy." Orochimaru hisses out, his golden hues gleaming with annoyance. He really wishes he became a chef instead of a shinobi, so many less people coming to try and kill him, but more people would've called him by his dead name, which he wouldn't of enjoyed.

Being fabulous was hard.

 

"Tell them I'm not up to it today." Orochimaru whines out, flopping onto his chair and wincing when he feels those accursed flabs of meat bounce on his chest. He couldn't wait to find a way to get these off his chest, then he'll be able to actually get things done. Contrary to what others think, he takes in kids he's marked (It sounds weird but he isn't a pedophile, he actually despises the thought of intercourse, too messy and a waste of time) and actually has them do a serious of test and when he's finished with them he just kind of….forgets to return them. That's why his village is so large. He's still a villain though, he'll kill a leaf shinobi any day, he's just not heartless enough to kill kids when it isn't necessary.   
       Kaito nods his head to show that he'll follow through with his masters wishes before going outside the base and stopping in front of three eerily glowing red eyes. Kaito felt kind of nervous standing in front of these demon eyed shinobi but he'll do anything for his master without hesitation.

"He'ssss not up tooo ittt today, coommee back tomorrooow." Kaito hisses out, his unseeing orbs doing nothing to hide the eeire glowing red chakra that laid within the demons eyes. Said demons shifted, all three chakra signatures spiking in annoyance. Itachi was the first to talk.

"Why not?" He questions curiously, his unearthly rage simmering just behind his words. Kaito doesn't notice, too busy trying to figure out where that rabbit he just sensed was.

"His binder's broken, come back when it's fixed."  Ren hisses out, whacking Kaito over the head just for fun. The Uchiha family was not having any of that and instead of waiting for whenever Orochimaru feels up to it, barge into the base without any hesitation, wincing at the screams they heard (It was scary movie night in the underground base) fill the underground corridors. Orochimaru is in the bathroom when they barge in, using the ace rolls he found stashed in the cupboards to bind the annoying slabs of meat. He was only halfway done with the wrapping when he senses and then sees the Uchiha family open his bathroom door. A stare off ensues between the four dangerous shinobi, Orochimaru with his shirt off and bandaged upper chest and the three most protective figures in Sasuke's life. Itachi didn't know if he should feel pity or rage at the snake sannin infront of him. Fugaku didn't sign up for this when he agreed with going on an ass kicking mission. Mikoto was uh....

"What do you think your doing young man!" Mikoto shouts in a motherly way, grabbing the roll of ace bandages from the shocked snake's hand. Itachi and Fugaku put their blades away, they weren't heartless you know, they knew the worst kind of torture was when Mikoto found you doing something you really shouldn't do, especially if Kabuto finds out, which he does after he rushes in to see what the commotion was about. 

Orochimaru feels the blood drain from his face when he see Kabuto put the dots together.

"OROCHIMARU-SAMA! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING??" Kabuto lectures, pulling out a spare binder for his lord and cutting away the bandages that were on his stupid master's chest. Mikoto helps Kabuto, the mom's of the group uniting under  a single cause. Orochimaru lets himself be dragged away by the two mom's, feeling only a slight hint of relief over the fact that he'll hopefully be dead before Tsunade hears why he was successfully captured. Talk about embarrassing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tsunade looks around suspicion, her dumb friend senses were tingling. One of her two idiot were trying to bind with ace bandages again. She knows it isn't Jiriaya, last time that idiot did it and she caught him well, let's just say he wouldn't do it again. 

'Orochimaru. Of course that idiot would try to do it again. Obviously didn't learn the last time.'

Last time he did the ace bandage thing was on the day they all found out they were a team together. All three of them were happy especially when their sensei was totally oblivious to the fact that two-third's of his team was trans. It didn't last for long cause that dummy of a snake passed out from having the bandages too tight. Exercise plus restricted breathing doesn't go well together. Sarutobi was furious when he realized Orochimaru was trans, even tried getting him removed from his team. Sarutobi was an okay man (His clan was a lot more understanding then he was) but he was horribly transphobic, it was terrible enough that he even made it illegal to get top and bottom surgery. Jiraiya was lucky that Sarutobi never found out, but it was definitely because of Hiruzen and Danzou that Orochimaru left the village. That bullshit excuse of 'oh he was a terrible human being' is utter bull-crap, Orochimaru was far more interested in helping the kids apart of the Lgbt who were pushed aside for being apart of it. That poor Tenzou kid, he actually went to Orochimaru for help with his Mokuton and his ever present gay thoughts. Sarutobi was very against the Lgbt.

"Tsunade-Sama?" She hears Shizune call out, bringing her back to the present, just in time to see Jiriaya run over to her. She scowls, allowing chakra to build in her fist.

"How many times do I have to tell you to bind properly!" She shouts in frustration, sending Jiraiya flying through a couple buildings. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke, who were behind Jiriaya, all look at how fast he flies. This was their second time looking for Tsunade, the first being interrupted by Kabuto who was thoroughly pummeled by Shikamaru and Itachi (Who was currently watching with amusement as Orochimaru is mothered henned to near death by Mikoto and said medical-nin who he previously pummeled) and they must say, it was quiet a shock to learn that Jiriaya was like them (Part of the Lgbtq, and yes Sakura is part of the community, she's a panbaby all the way). Let's just say after that Jiraiya got one more worrier on his plate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orochimaru is brought back to the village, a thoroughly scolded pouty face planted on his face instead of a his usual cocky grin, to make matters worse, Tsunade was walking towards them with murder on her face, and his apprentice was allowing it to happen! Why oh Why did Sasuke have to say he gave him a hickey? Sure it was a wrong thing to do, but he wasn't thinking clearly at the time! He was really upset and just so happened to see a Uchiha and decided to send his favorite snake Namoura after him! He didn't know Namoura would give Sasuke his cursed seal of heaven! 

"Oro-Chi-Mar-UUUU!" Tsunade yells out in anger, her fist alight with a dangerous green. The last thing Orochimaru thinks of before he's knocked unconscious by Tsunade's way to powerful punch.

He really wishes he didn't go to the exams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

She hated when Sarutobi looked at Orochimaru with disgust in his gaze, Orochimaru helped her through a lot, he reassured Anko that it was perfectly okay to be trans, that It was not disgusting to feel like a woman instead of a man. Heck he even helped her get top and bottom surgery (She was really lucky to get both, most of the trans community in Konoha gets neither and if they do, they're most likely arrested). It was tiring to pretend to hate her old sensei, she owed him a lot, as does Tenzou who thought it was absolutely terrible to be pansexual. Look at him now, He and Anko have been dating for years now, all because of Orochimaru. He has very questionable morals, but don't they all as Shinobi? 

"Hekima, It seems like you've finally turned yourself in." Danzou spits out venomously, using Orochimaru's dead name for added effect. Team seven watches the interaction with confusion while the rest of the Uchiha family finally realizes what is happening.

"What are you even doing here Danzou?" Tsunade snaps, her hazel orbs narrowing in annoyance at the transphobic old man in front off her. Hiruzen lets out a weary sigh, too old for this kind of of crap. Hekima was still going through her phase, too delusional to realize that she could never be a boy and that just trying was harming her in the long run. Orochimaru would kindly tell Hiruzen to fuck off if he heard where Hiruzen's thoughts were wandering too. Hiruzen isn't trying to be a villain here, he's just too caught up in the old ways (And has ignored the fact that his sensei was very much a gay man who had a very gay crush on a man we shall not name).

"Have you come to take position as Hokage Tsunade?" Hiruzen questions, leaning back in his office chair that he got from his successor. Tsunade spares a glance at Orochimaru, before nodding her head at Hiruzen's question. With a quick wave of his hand, Orochimaru is sent away too T&I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Tenzou here's that Orochimaru was in T&I he quickly dropped his training with Sai, handing him over to his brother Shin (Who was lucky enough to have befriended Shisui before his ultimate test with Danzou) who quickly started running him through sword exercises. Tenzou then rushes over to T&I, passing his mentor Inoichi along the way. Once infront of the cell the snake sannin was in, Tenzou freezes. Infront of the cell sat a well known Taijustu master with his mini-me.

"It's seems you have grown Gai-Kun." Orochimaru states pleasantly, his golden eyes alight with amusement. Gai nods his head vigorously, ignoring his pupil's uncomfortable shifting. Gai has known Orochimaru sense he was a kid, his dad always going to Orochimaru whenever he needed help with something. It was a shame when the hokage banished Orochimaru over his secret underground society (Orochimaru was one of the key pioneers for the Lgbtq community in Konoha) which actually help many kids and adults who were out casted over their gender and sexuality. No one could really do anything at the time, especially when most of the villager's were very much against Orochimaru's views. Hopefully Tsunade will be able to appease his case (Especially sense the most experiments he did were on enemy soldiers and even then that was during the war, in other words he was being wrongfully accused for the wrong things, not saying he didn't do anything wrong, invading Konoha was a terrible idea on his part) so he can avoid the death part.

Orochimaru looks over and spots Tenzou, surprise filling his eyes at the now grown man in front of him. A cunning smile spreads onto Orochimaru's face (If anyone looked closely they would see that it was just his genuine smile) as he beckons Tenzou over. Gai get's the hint and motions for his mini-me to follow him out of T&I  quietly. The room envolopes with silence as both of the grown men try to think of something to say.

"How'd you parents take you being bisexual?" Orochimaru questions, tilting his head curiously. A pained look enters Yamamto's eyes as he recalls his shockingly blank memories.

"Danzou took me in after you left, I can't even remember them anymore. Everyone thinks you experimented on me and gave me the Mokuton." Tenzou tells Orochimaru quietly, leaning his back against the metal door behind him. Orochimaru snorts at everyone's incompentence, his long hair swishing as he moves forward.

"That bastard will get what's coming to him soon enough." Orochimaru reassures (And isn't that a surprise) the young man, not at all fazed when Inoichi comes over to let him out of the cell and towards the interrogation room.

"I'll see you sooner or later Tenzou-kun." Orochimaru calls back over his shoulders, wincing when the root anbu (and it definitely was a root member, especially with the way their chakra was flowing) tightens the chakra binds on the snake sannin, obviously threatened by the fact that said sannin was being nice. They get into the interrogation room where Inoichi sits down in the office chair and Orochimaru is forced to sit in the metal chair of doom.

"How are you, Orochimaru-San?" Inoichi asks pleasantly, a cheerful smile on his face.

"Pretty well if you exclude the assholes who've deemed it their mission to try and correct me on my gender." Orochimaru replies with twice as much cheer and venom in his tone. Inoichi winces in sympathy, having experience with assholes like that (His brother was transgender before he was killed in mysterious circumstances). Orochimaru doesn't react to Inoichi's grimace, instead focusing some of his energy on making the guards squirm. The Yamanaka clan leader shakes himself out of his stupor, getting back to the root of the matter. 

"Can you please state your full name and shinobi I.D. number." Inoichi request, looking at Orochimaru Amicably. Orochimaru raises one of his perfect eyebrows and lets a snarky smirk rest on his face.

"My dead name I presume?" Orochimaru questions venomously, a small aching hatred for Hiruzen burning brighter. The lead interrogator smiles apologetically. informing Orochimaru that yes he does have to use his dead name (Jiraiya is so lucky that he had connections, he was able to change his records before Sarutobi  ever found out about him). The Serpent summoner lets out a sigh before looking into Inoichi pupiless blue eyes.

"Hekima Tojiro. Shinobi number: 5678902 Shinobi Status: Sannin/Kage." Orochimaru states in a monotoned voice, internally cringing at his old name. Inoichi nods his head in an absent sort of way before looking up.

"Why did you attack Konoha?"

"Well..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Hiruzen and Tsunade stand in front of the rest of the shinobi watching as Orochimaru explain in very colorful that he was trying to get revenge on all the assholes in the village who made his life living hell. Danzou was scowling at the story Hekima was spinning.

"We should execute her for endangering the lives of Konoha civilians." Danzou growls out, glaring with his one good eye at the Snake summoner. Tsunade clenches her first till there knuckle white, her rage simmering towards the surface. Jiraiya lets out a soft growl, his big heart going out for his kindred spirit. Tsunade turns to look at Danzou with murderous hazel eyes.

"I will decided whether he'll be executed or not, the only reason you or Hiruzen is here right now is because you guys are part of the council but need I remind you that this is a Dictatorship and I will decided what will be done whether the citizens like it or not." Tsunade spits out with so much hatred in her voice that it makes everyone minus Jiraiya take a couple steps back. Danzou looks at her with deep burning hatred in his eyes, not at all liking the fact that the new Hokage won't bend to his will.

"Orochimaru will be exempted from all his accusations on the account of false claims and lack of evidence." Tsunade announces, walking towards the interrogation room with intent of getting her stupid teammate out of there. Tsunade opens the door and waits in silence as both individuals look towards her. Orochimaru sends her a genuine small smile, his golden snake eyes alight with some fondness. Tsunade feels warmth shoot through her and she gives a small grin in return before she turns to Inoichi.

"He's free to go, I'll have Anbu of my choice guard him for a year or so and see if he has any traitorous intentions." Tsunade informs them both, smirking when she sees Orochimaru send the one-sided mirror a triumphant smirk.

"Alright Hokage-Sama." Inoichi agrees pleasantly. standing up and undoing the chakra binds on Orochimaru's wrist. Said Sannin gets up and walks over to the new Hokage.

"I have many orphans in my underground bases, if they start popping up in Konoha please don't be alarmed." The graceful middle aged man states before walking out and towards Jiraiya. Orochimaru gives Jiraiya an annoyed grin, irritation filling his eyes.

"You are very lucky old friend, the amount of times they have called me female and used my birth name is insanely annoying." Orochimaru tells the toad sage, slapping him over the head with a swift swoop. Jiraiya falls to the ground in a mighty thump, a whine exiting from his voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orochimaru listens with divided focus as Anko tells him all that she's been up to. The other half of his attention was focused on reading a new scientific discovery that was only now being released to the public.

"Are you even listening to me Orochimaru-sensei?" Anko whines out, practically falling onto the poor man. Orochimaru shrugs her off with ease, rolling his golden eyes when he hears her whine some more.

"Orochimaru-sama, you've been summoned by the Hokage." Tenzou states, popping out out of nowhere. Orochimaru sighs, and gets up, allowing his Kimono to fall gracefully around him. The snake sannin executes a quick shunshin and appears in front of Tsunade, an irritated look on his face. When he appears in the office he notices Sasuke Uchiha standing next to his brother Itachi. Orochimaru doesn't hide from Itachi, he was merely standing side by side with Tsunade on the other side of the desk. Tsunade snorts at his actions before motioning for Sasuke to talk. Sasuke straightens up and looks Orochimaru straight in the eye.

"I want you to train me." Sasuke demands, gaining a raised eyebrow from Orochimaru.

"No." Was his reply. Big mistake that was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orochimaru ends up trainging Sasuke for the upcoming war, teaching him everything he knew and watching as Sasuke passes him in skill. He Participates in the war, keeping all Jinchuriiki safe in his underground lairs, moving them constantly when it looked as if the Akastuki were close to finding them. Naruto and B escaped the rest stayed, training and growing closer with their bijuu's as the war rages on. Orochimaru watches as Shin and Sai (two kids he took under his wing after watching Shin check Shisui out for longer then strictly necessary) and watches as Sai hits it off with Yugito and Shin get buddy buddy with Utakata.

Years later, he watches as the new generation grows and reluctantly adopts a child and raises them with the help of Tsunade and Jiriaya.

They named the child Makota.

Makota grew up to be a terrifying combination of all three Sannin.

Orochimaru was happy, which is a surprise, all because of Ace bandages. Oh and Kabuto was Makota's Sensei and mother hen.


End file.
